Will Play for Chocolate

23 of 32 World Cup spots are now spoken for and only the play-offs are left to be played; there shall now be a brief roundup before we return to regularly scheduled league football action.

Sepp has done his best to ensure that Europe’s big fish will qualify, by changing the rules at the last minute and seeding the play-offs.

Argentina scraped through by the skin of their teeth on the last day aof qualifying; el Diego, whose managerial tactics appear to consist of picking names out of a hat, then clutching holy medals whilst looking bewildered and sad, felt thoroughly vindicated, telling the live television cameras to, among other things, “keep sucking it”.

Slovakia qualified for their first ever World Cup after playing Poland on a snow-covered pitch which was very pretty, but probably not too fun.

And Wilson Palacios will be unavailable for Tottenham’s game against Portsmouth tomorrow, as he is still in Honduras celebrating his country’s qualification for the World Cup.  Roberto Micheletti, who is currently described by mainstream media outlets as president of Honduras, has made it known that Palacios is forbidden to leave the country until the party ends, and the party does not end until he says so.

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Note to certain CWFO Readers who are new parents this week: it may (or may not, yeah) interest you to know that your daughter was born the same day as Robin van Persie’s daughter, which also happens to be Tony Adams’s birthday.  So obviously you should raise her as an Arsenal fan.

Speaking of Arsenal, we play Birmingham tomorrow, and  Arsène has motivated his team by saying, “we do not play for pieces of chocolate, we play for trophies”.

Now we must all go to sleep and dream of playing football in the snow and winning large trophies made of chocolate.  Tomorrow there shall be CWFO premier League coverage, plus Why Evo Morales Should Win a Nobel Prize, by Fidel .

 

CW Bookwatch

Miami-based retired pharmacist Juanita Castro, 76, has written a book entitled My Brothers Fidel and Raúl: The Secret Story, set to be published October 26.

Juanita has reportedly not spoken to her elder brothers since she left Cuba in 1964, following a dispute in which she attempted to prevent Fidel from expropriating their family landholdings. Fidel called Juanita a “counterrevolutionary worm”, and she responded by telling a Miami radio station, ”My brothers Fidel and Raúl have made [Cuba] an enormous prison surrounded by water. The people are nailed to a cross of torment imposed by international Communism.”

In recent years, however, she seems to have softened her stance, saying, when she heard about Fidel’s illness in 2006, ”the blood, it’s very strong…he’s my brother”.

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Footie Outpouring Premiership Coverage will return this weekend.

 

One-Nil to the Arsenal, plus Rioting Bollywood Fans

Fulham 0-1 Arsenal
In a day of unabashed goalscoring elsewhere in the league, Arsenal played almost 100 minutes of scrappy and frenetic football and barely ground out a one-nil win, but I’ll take it.

Third choice goalkeeper Vito Mannone has come on in leaps and bounds since making his debut ten days ago, and today made a number of excellent last-ditch saves.  Also, taking a goal kick late in injury time, he had the good sense to slow things down and waste a little time, after I had spent five minutes shouting at the rest of the boys to do that very thing, to no avail.  I would feel more secure, though, if he would catch and hang to the ball more often, rather than parrying it back into play.

Fulham were quicker off the mark, and looked the better side for much of the first half.Every time an Arsenal player got near Fulham’s goal (I’m looking at you, impish towheaded moppet), they booted the ball high into the air.  At one point, Gallas and Mannone collided with each other, hard, which really could have been avoided.

Arsenal finally took the upper hand seven minutes after the break, when Fabregas teed up van Persie, who coolly sent the ball cruising into the bottom left corner of the net for what turned out to be the only goal of the game.

Andrei Arshavin, who was unusually ineffective today, was replaced after 70 minutes, by Tomas Rosicky, who appeared to be chewing gum.  Almost immediately after coming on, Rosicky was tossed in the air by John Pantsil, who was booked for his efforts.

Arsenal really should have scored again after that; both Bendtner and Eboue wasted gilt-edged chances, for example.  To be fair, though, Fulham also had some very good chances, and even dominated play for stretches of the game.

Incidentally, Cesc appears to be growing a beard, and just when I thought he’d outgrown his questionable coiffure-ial experiments.

Wigan 3-1 Chelsea
Petr Cech sent off, Ashley Cole taken off on a stretcher, and Chelsea comprehensively pasted by the team that were comprehensively pasted by Arsenal last week.  Superb.

Tottenham 5-0 Burnley
Well, it’s only Burnley

Stoke 0-2 Man United
And United go top of the league AGAIN

Liverpool 6-1 Hull
Torres hat-trick, Babel 2, Gerrard 1.  I have nothing against Hull, but I still haven’t forgiven Phil Brown for his saying slanderous and stupid things about Cesc last season, therefore I am quite pleased to see him growing increasingly desperate. 
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Indian Football Update

Baichung 1-0 Mohun Bagan
An AIFF-appointed arbitrator has decided that, until a final verdict is reached, Baichung Bhutia is free to play for East Bengal or any other club of his choosing.  The legal case trundles on, but Baichung has stated that, whatever the outcome, he will never again take the field for Mohun Bagan.

Salman Khan  -1
A friendly match between Mohamedan Sporting Club and Salman’s Wanted Eleven had to be cancelled today, due to a crowd of adoring fans who mobbed Sallu as he entered the ground.  Incidentally, when Footie Outpouring announced this game last week, we described Sallu as slightly menacing.  A reader wrote in to say that the film star is “not just slightly menacing, he [is] very oily and icky”.  I do not disagree.

 

Footie Outpouring

Arsenal Go Shopping

I don’t want to jinx anything by saying it too soon, but just when everyone was convinced that Arsenal would never sign another player ever again, Arsène Wenger is reportedly planning to strike like lightning for up to three players at once.

First, there is St. Etienne midfielder Blaise Matuidi, who is just the sort of scrappy holding player Arsenal so desperately need, but who is also a mere slip of a youth. Crack Arsenal scout (and former Arsenal player) Gilles Grimandi has reportedly been tracking young Matuidi’s progress for three years now, and has informed Arsene that the time to sign him has come.

The signing of Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh, mooted earlier this summer, is also back on the table.

And finally, we may bringing Patrick Vieira back to the club to act as a sort of mentor-figure for the youth and possibly also play a bit occasionally; I suspect that this was done at least partly to prevent him signing for Spurs, but the more I think about it, the more I really, really like the idea.

Here is Arsène’s utterly classic comment on the potential signings:
“We don’t rule it out and we don’t say we will do it. That’s my decision at the moment”.

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Women’s Footy ‘Round the World Update

Conmebol announced that for the first time this year, a women’s Copa Libertadores will be held.  Ten teams will participate, one from each South American country.  It will last for 12 days in October and sounds sort of lame.

And Pakistan’s 5th Annual National Women’s Football Championship is currently underway.  Matches are played in the national stadium, the tournament is reportedly receiving widespread public support, and the level of play has been described as “quite professional”.  So at least one country in the subcontinent thinks women’s football is worth developing and supporting (she said bitterly).

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Bobby Robson (1933-2009) rallies his troops during the semi-final of the 1990 World Cup, immediately before losing to Germany on penalties. RIP Sir Bobby. [I don't mean to be disrespectful by pointing it out under the circumstances, but I've just noticed that Chris Waddle appears to be fixing a wedgie in this picture.

 

Media Round-up

Here is an interesting article that sheds some light on the South African construction workers’ strike that threatens to throw the World Cup into disarray.

And here are more comandante-themed tunes.

 

National Rebelliousness Day, plus Footballers’ Naughty Corner

July 26 marks the anniversary of the beginning of the Cuban Revolution.  At the crack of dawn on this day in 1953, Fidel and his plucky band of rebels set off to storm the Moncada Barracks in Santiago Cuba wearing uniforms which one rebel, who had a job in the laundry of a military hospital, had stolen from work.

Things began to go downhill when the car carrying all the ammo got separated from the sixteen-vehicle convoy and became lost.  Then, just as the convoy arrived at the barracks, Fidel accidentally crashed his vehicle and everyone in the other vehicles jumped out to see what was happening, this losing the element of surprise they had counted upon.  The majority of the rebels were taken prisoner and killed later; a few survived.

In the ensuing trial, Fidel acted as his own lawyer, defending himself with the famous words “la historia me absolverá”; he was sentenced to fifteen years of prison, but received amnesty after two years following a public appeal, and promptly went to Mexico to regroup.

As we know, the Revolution eventually succeeded, six years and many vicissitudes later.

Today, there was a special get-together for a group of 27 veterans of the attack, who were taken on a tour of the scene of their exploits. There was also a cake for Melba Hernandez Rodríguez del Rey, one of only two women who participated in the attack, whose 88th birthday it was.

Meanwhile, the city of Holguin celebrated the occasion this weekend with a fireworks display and a city-wide cultural gala on the theme “Revolution of Ours, Our Love”. Raúl laid a wreath in memory of those who lost their lives in the attack, and addressed the assembled crowd of 200,000, mnay of whom were dressed for the occasion in Communist red.

Raúl’s speech praised the people of Holguin for their swift recovery thus far from last year’s barrage of hurricanes; talked about advances in agricultural, specifically milk production; and, like a good old school commie, urged everyone to work hard.  El presidente also had an environmental message, evoking Fidel’s words in 1953: “we cannot be at ease as a piece of land remains uncultivated. If it is not suitable to sow food crops, it is suitable for planting trees” he said, and called upon each child to plant one tree.

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Footballers’ Naughty Corner

Steven Gerrard has been cleared of charges of affray, following an incident in which he threw many punches at a dj in a Liverpool nightclub.

And David Beckham has been fined $1,000 following an incident in which he exchanged harsh words with a Galaxy fan, thereby inciting the fan to leap onto the pitch, possibly with intent to cause bodily harm.  The fan received a lifetime ban from attending Galaxy’s games.

Reports that Patrick Vieira is seriously considering a move to Spurs are slanderous lies, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

 

Slanderous Lies, plus Footballer Health Watch

Alex Ferguson, who has never been one for being gracious in victory, is spreading the following unfounded gossip about Arsenal’s position in the transfer market: “I know Arsene doesn’t have any money. I think they’re struggling cash-wise, so it’s a big test. They’ve sold Adebayor and there seems to be evidence that he can’t use the money”.

For his part, Adebayor has stated that his recent move to Man City had nothing to do with money, and everything to do with his burning desire for medals and glory.  Were he in it solely for money, Ade elaborated, he would have joined Milan or Barcelona instead.  Which seems counter-logical, but my source for that information is Fox Soccer Report, so…

In other news, Samir Nasri broke his fibula during pre-season training yesterday, and is expected to be out of action for 2-3 months.  We wish him all the best for a speedy recovery.

And, Danish footballer Jonathan Richter, 24, is in a coma after being struck by lightning on the pitch during a match in Copenhagen between his club, FC Nordsjaelland, and FC Hvidvore. Everyone, please, if there is a lightning storm, go inside and do not continue to play.

 

CW’s History Corner

Today is Children’s Day in Cuba.  Fidel arranged the holiday in its current format by means of a speech made to a group of Young Pioneers in Havana’s Parque Lenin on July 6, 1974:

“… Previously, Children’s Day was on January 6, do you remember that? … But that was not during vacation time, children were still in school; it was not the best time of the year for Children’s Day, or for toys, or for having a good time…So the Revolution made a decision:  ’We will change the date, we have it in July; but what day in July?’ We said: ‘Well, like it was, on the 6th, will we have it on July 6.’ But do you know what we discovered? – that we made a mistake when choosing that date… [because most children are still in the middle of exams on July 6; it does not seem to have occurred to the Revolution to leave the holiday on January 6 and give everybody the day off school; nor, obviously, to reinstate religious observances, in which case it would be a holiday anyway] … if it doesn’t fall on Sunday, Children’s Day will not bring happiness to the home…”

“As you are here representing all of the Pioneers of Cuba, if you are in agreement we will propose to the Party and to the revolutionary government that we act boldly and make this change, right?  Because to make change it is necessary to be brave in making those changes, right?  We don’t have to continue with things when they’re wrong; it’s necessary to rectify them and to fix them!  Those who agree, raise your hands [here, presumably, the Pioneers all raised their hands].  Correct!

“Unanimously, we will propose the change to the Party and to the revolutionary Government:  Instead of the 6th, it will be on the third Sunday of every July.  And with that, the Día del Niño will be closer to the 26th, Cuba’s most important holiday [anniversary of the inception of the Revolution in 1953].  Everybody will be cheerful, everybody happy, a fiesta for everybody”.

Compañero Watch loves Young Pioneers. They sing cute songs.

 

Compañero Watch/Footie Outpouring

As the transfer market continues to hot up, Manchester City, who appear to be splashing cash without much of a cohesive plan, are on the brink of signing Adebayor for somewhere between £20-25 million, take the money, Arsène, take it fast.

More light is being shed on the dissolution of the Indian women’s team.  Here is what (allegedly) went down: the last competitive match played by the team was away to Iran, in October 2007; Iran won 4-1*. Iran’s fourth goal came from a dubiously awarded penalty, which was scored with a suspicion of handball.  The Indian players and coaching staff protested.  They had already complained to Asian Confederation officials about having to wear burqas during the trip to Tehran at all times when not actually on the pitch.  The AIFF decided that the players were becoming insubordinate and decided to punish them by failing to schedule any fixtures for them for months and months and months on end.  WTF?!?!?!

*Incidentally, it is interesting to me that none of the coverage on these current developments mentions that that game was in fact the second part of a two legged fixture, of which India won the first leg 3-1.  I think that piece of information might interfere with the image of incompetence that the international press seems to be fostering.

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As el Jefe tells it, ousted Honduran president Manuel Zelaya seems to be enjoying some sort of Boys’ Own adventure.  Here is the latest installment, entitled “Kill the Coup or Kill the Constitutions”:

The countries of Latin America fought against the worst financial crisis in history within a relative institutional rule.

When President of the United States barrack Obama, in Moscow to confront vital matters pertaining to nuclear weapons, declared that the only constitutional president of Honduras was Manuel Zelaya, the extreme right and hawks in Washington maneuvered in order to negotiate the shameful pardon of the illegalities that they attributed to the golpistas.

It was obvious that such an act would mean, before them and before the world, their disappearance from the political scene.

This proved that when Zelaya announced that he would return on 5 July, they decided to fulfill their promise to share with their people the brutal golpista repression.

Travelling with the President was Miguel d’Escoto, president pro tem of the Assembly General of the UN, and Patricia Rodas, the chancellor of Honduras, as well as a journalist from Telesur and others, a total of nine persons.  Zelaya held to his decision to return.  I am certain that in mid air, when they were nearing Tegucigalpa, they were informed from the ground about the images on Telesur, at the moment that the enormous crowd that was waiting for them outside the airport, was being attacked by the military with tear gas and fire from automatic weapons.

Their immediate reaction was to ask the high command to denounce the deeds on Telesur and to command the troop leaders to stop the repression.  After doing this, the proceeded to land.  The high command then ordered that the runway be blocked.  In a matter of seconds, motorized transport vehicles obstructed them.

Thrice the Jet Falcon passed over the airport at a low altitude.  Experts say that the most tense and dangerous moment for the pilots is when fast, light aircraft, like that carrying the President, reduce speed to make contact with the runway.  For this reason I think that their determination to return to Honduras was brave and valiant.

If they wanted to judge him for supposed constitutional crimes, why would they not allow him to land?

Zelaya knew that they were playing not only with the Constitution of Honduras, but also with the right of the people of Latin America to elect their leaders.

Today Honduras is not only a country occupied by coup-mongers, it is a country occupied by the armed forces of the United States.

The military base of Soto Cano, also known as Palmerola, located at least 100 km from Tegucigalpa, reactivated under the Ronald Reagan administration, was used by Colonel Oliver North when he led the dirty war against Nigaragua, and from that point the United States government led the attacks against the Salvadoran and Guatemalan revolutionaries, which cost tens of thousands of lives.

It was the meeting point for the United States’ “Bravo Task Force Group”, composed of elements of the three armed forces,that occupied 85% of the area of the base.  Eva Golinger revealed its role in an article published on the digital site Rebelión on July 9, 2009, titled “The Military Base of the United States in Honduras in the middle of the coup”.  She explained that “the Constitution of Honduras does not legally permit foreign military presence in the country.  A ‘handshake’ agreement between Washington and Honduras allowed the strategic and important presence of hundreds of United States forces on the base, by a “semi-permanent” agreement.  The accord came into effect in 1954 as part of the military aid that the United States offered to Honduras…the third-poorest country in the hemisphere.  She added that “…the agreement that allowed the United States to have a military presence in the Central American country could be retracted at any time without warning”.

Soto Cano is also the site of the Aviation Academy of Honduras.  The responsibilities of the United States military task force include the training of Honduran soldiers.

Which is the objective of the military base, the aeroplanes, the helicopters, and the United States task force in Honduras?  Without a doubt it serves only one purpose in Central America.  The fight against narcotraffic does not require these weapons.

If President Manuel Zelaya is not reinstated to his post, a wave of coups d’etat threatens to sweep many governments in Latin America, or leave them at the mercy of the military of the extreme right, educated in the doctrine of security of the School of the Americas, expert in torture, psychological warfare, and terror.  The authority of many civil governments in Central and South America will be left to debilitate.  They are not very far away from those shadowy times.  The military coups would not even listen to the civil administration of the United States.  It could be very negative for a president who, like Barack Obama, wants to improve the image of that country.  The Pentagon is, officially, obedient to civil power.  Still the legions, like in Rome, have not assumed command of the empire.

It would be incomprehensible for Zelaya to admit now to dilatory manoeuvres that would erode the considerable social forces that support him and would only lead him to an irreparable erosion.

 

CWFO

Newish Chief Executive Ivan Gazidis has made several announcements proving that he is a man of sound judgment and integrity, and that my club is in good hands: most notably, that the skeezy proposals of sinister Uzbek zillionaire Usmanov have been rejected.  At the same time, relatively benign American billionaire Stan Kroenke has increased his stake in the club still more; I do not know what this portends.

South African building workers have gone on strike from building World Cup stadiums, meaning that the stadiums are unlikely to be completed on schedule.  I think it might be fun to hold the World Cup in half finished stadiums, but probably I am alone in this. Let us hope for a happy resolution for all concerned parties.

Meanwhile in St. Tropez, Wayne Rooney reportedly required 45 stitches in his ear following a mishap on a yacht.